The secret of a screen name unravels here...

As some may know, I use the screen name EndOfDreamsWaltz on several different services, and this is the perfect place to explain the meaning.

When I waken, it is in stages.  The alarm goes off, if I have one set for that day, then the blinds are cracked just wide enough to let the sunlight bounce off my nose as the peeps through the window.  I roll over and kiss my friend good morning when the sun reaches eye level, and we laze about for several minutes, just enjoying the silence and the stillness of the morning (we are both huge fans of serenity).

After a little while, we get up, and one person starts breakfast--be it coffee, cereal, eggs, or whatever we feel like that day--and the other takes a shower, then the trade off.  After eating and bathing, we lounge on the couch for several minutes before heading off to work and school and the switch off.

This is my morning waltz.  It begins with the lightheaded pleasure of my eyes flickering open to that lovely breath of morning and ends with a secretive smile passed between friends.  A smooth transition from wonderland to book (or tool) land.  The end of dreams waltz.

I can think of no way in the world I would prefer to awaken.

Der weckende Traumer,
Centri

Every person has an audience, whether intentional or not, and most of us will play to it at some point (as I addressed in an earlier blog Thespian Sapien), however the true call of an audience is in two parts: the literal and the hypothetical.

My literal audience consists of whomever happens to be around at the given moment.  People I know, or don't.  People I may never see again or people who know me intimately.  This is the audience which we all play to.  Sitting quietly in a coffee shop reading a book or getting a group of friends together to go bowl, both are just a way to play for this audience.  A way to say what you want to about yourself.  For instance, getting a large group together to go somewhere says that you're a friendly person out looking for fun, whereas solitarily reading suggests you perceive yourself as a carefree intellectual who doesn't need other people.  Both are a means of performance.  That's not to say it's the only motivation, but that book can be equally read inside the home, and adventures need not include large parties.  Bottom line is that we all put on a show, even if it's only for our own amusement.

Now the second kind of audience is a bit different.  This is the perceived audience.  The auidence you're attempting to grasp or the people your assume will be watching.  This is the audience you think of when you look at yourself in the mirror and say, "Oh this outfit looks silly," or, "I look fat in these pants."  These are things that you assume people will notice, and those assumed people are that secondary audience.  This audience often controls us whereas we attempt to control the former audience.  The power it holds is generally based on a function of society that is perceived as most important (ie body weight, style, etc.), and the effective means of controlling it is partly giving in to it (such as: "I don't care what anyone thinks, this looks good!") as it makes a unanimous decision as to what you are telling the audience, however, it is still done with the audience wholeheartedly in mind.

It is not to say that either of these is problematic, or that anyone is the worse person for playing a bit to these audiences, because that's part of life.  What is important is to remain ever aware of the audiences, as all audiences have a time and a place.  Finding the audience that is most important to you matters highly, but it will generally come naturally.

In the end, dance like no one's watching, even though you assume someone is.
Sing like you can't be heard, even though you'll tune it so it sounds good.
And laugh so hard you fall to the floor and lay there breathless for minutes on end, because you conduct your life, and it may as well be a comedy over a tragedy.

"God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny."
Centri